Monday, August 18, 2008

Will they ever let me grow up?

So I'm going to grad school this fall- whoop whoop! I'm pretty excited. I'm going to get my masters in Elementary Education. My bachelors degree is in Elem. Education but I never got my license so I can't teach. Thank you No Child Left Behind.

Well as it turns out, I can't afford to just pay my tuition. Hello? Car Payment? Rent? Itty Bitty Salary? I've been looking for grants but the school I'm going to isn't "participating" with any of the grants that are available to me. lovely. I could get an assistantship which would pay for my tuition, but it pays even less than my joke of a salary and I would be without health insurance. That's not exactly a gamble I'm willing to take. My solution? Student loans.

Wouldn't ya know that my parents are making it very clear that I shouldn't take out any loans. "You already have debt: you just financed a car, and you have student loans that you haven't paid off from your undergrad." Oh really? And why do I have those loans? Oh that's right - cause you refused to pay for my 5th year of school. Now don't get me wrong - I'm very very appreciative that my parents paid for my first 4 years of school, and I did not mind AT ALL taking out the loans to cover my last year. It was my fault I was there 5 years - I accept the responsibility. But don't come telling me that I just should just suck it up and continue on in a job (I refuse to call it a career b/c I hate it so much) that I despise just because you feel that it's a bad idea to accrue more debt.

My mom actually made this statement about it "If you were going to Med School or something like that where you'd actually made a decent income one day that would be one thing. But taking a loans to become a teacher just isn't wise." Why are you homeschooling A & K this year mom? Because the schools SUCK and the teachers are horrible!?!? Wouldn't you be appreciative if someone had decided that teaching children and molding our future was more important that making a huge salary?

My dad calls tonight and goes into it all over again. I've been keeping the conversations about it short and sweet because I have this weird condition, that whenever I talk to my dad about subjects that we don't see eye-to-eye on I end up crying - and it makes him mad. But tonight it just couldn't be avoided. He discussed how me taking out loans was not a good idea, I cried and tried to explain why I wanted to do this, he said he doesn't know a single teacher that actually enjoys their job, I cry and tell him I know teachers that love their jobs....... on and on and on.

Please don't get me wrong on this. I love my parents and I understand their concern with me getting into more debt. But the debt I do have is student loans, and a car. I don't have credit card debt or anything like that. I guess sometimes I just wish they would be supportive of a decision I make and let me grow up and make my own mistakes and decisions without telling me how wrong I am and what a mistake I'm making before I even make it.

I've prayed and prayed about this decision and I truly feel that this is what the Lord wants me to do. I guess all I can do now is pray that He changes my parents heart as well.


2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I'm a mom of two college kids in a Christian college (read: money!) They work part time, have loans, scholarships, and we help them monthly, but still, they will graduate with debt. It's crazy, and I feel for you. If it were anything other than education, I'd say hold off, but an education is something no one can ever take away from you. You have the rest of your life to pay off your debt, and it is your life. If you are called to teach, it is a noble thing. Not all noble things are enjoyable each and every day, so teaching won't be either. But I think it's wonderful that you want to make a difference. You may be called to make sacrifices (money-wise) to fulfill your calling. This is my first time here, and I have no authority to speak into your life, but your comments were just so relevant to me I couldn't resist. Sorry for such a long comment!

Randall said...

I honestly don't know what to say, really, but I think if this is something you want to do, than make it happen. I was able to secure a grad assistantship while working on my master's degree that included a tuition waiver.

There are plenty of scholarships, grants, and loans if you need them. It can be disappointing not to have that support from them, but you are an adult and can handle your choices as you please (even if you have to pay off loans).